Touchdown in Bangkok

The famous Tuk-tuk, synonymous with Thailand

After waking up feeling strangely rejuvenated by my slumber behind a sofa I made plans to get my flight from Heathrow. Upon arriving at the airport I was immediately told by the kind check-in lady "your flight has been cancelled." Images of strangulation and over-sized weaponry that would never make it through customs raced through my mind, provoked by this sweet ladies cold calculating face. A storm cloud formed above my head growing in electrical intensity, I stayed the bazooka hidden down my pants that I had ready to pull out like something in Who Framed Roger Rabbit just long enough for her to say.... "you have been upgraded." All malice suddenly dissipated like a healing breeze, I was like a robot in kill mode and she had just flicked my off-switch, the check-in lady transformed, she became reasonable, maybe even....attractive.

I was originally going to fly with Air India with a stopover in Delhi, the whole flight would have taken 15 hours. Luckily with my new upgrade I was now flying with British Airways on a 747 with no stopover, this meant that I would arrive in Bangkok a full 4 hours earlier. That doesn't stop plane journeys being boring though, check-out these inventive ways to quell boredom. It would seem that every plane ride is plagued by
some sort of annoyance, who could forget the iconic man that is to portly for his "seats" or the child that is training for the scream Olympics. This weeks plane vexation came in the form of 2 loud French youths. Presumably these noisy adolescents had ingested something that made them hyperactive before take-off and as a result were wide-eyed, leaking testosterone, and sweating at an alarming rate. For some reason their altered state meant that they found it impossible to defer from kicking my friends chair and ripping his headphones from their armchair socket.

We arrived in Suvarnabhumi airport (also a Japanese progressive rock band) 16:10 Thai time and proceeded to the bus station. My plan was to save money by taking a series of local buses to the Khao San Road, the problem was our inventory made us particularly over-encumbered. I had one large backpack and an acoustic guitar, my friend had two large bags and an entire set of SCUBA-diving equipment. Our first bus leg went off without a hitch and everything ran as normal. I got on and the ticket lady used some sort of cylindrical artifact and an applaudable display of dexterity to rip my ticket into shreds. The second bus pulled up, as we climbed the stairs I noticed there was something oddly different about this bus. For some reason, Buddha knows why, this bus was playing loud rock music and all the locals were enthusiastically singing along. I was prepared to look past this unconventional detail but we were hurriedly told to leave, my friend hopped off onto a busy Bangkok by-pass into the path of a passing moped.

Against all rules of probability we arrived at our destination, the Khao San Road. This area of Bangkok is laced with atmosphere, excited Westerners explore the streets and side alleys for cheap counterfeit goods and reasonably priced beer. Tuk-tuk drivers tirelessly drum up business by offering clients "ping-pong" shows or a free tour of the local tailors in exchange for their fuel tickets. The aroma of Pad-Thai fills the air whilst old ladies in various tribal dresses sell their novelties to tourists that are quietly trying to dine or who are already inebriated. Cars and buses defied logic, driving down narrow passages seemingly to narrow for them packed with pedestrians. There was something alluring about this place and my jet-lag was replaced with a feeling of anticipation and excitement. Somehow I didn't think I would be going to sleep early...

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