Friday 20 April 2012

First Night in The Land of Smiles

Big 160ft chilled out Buddha

Cycling canines, transgender women and promiscuous Aussie doctors - read on....

I was heavily jet-lagged after my flight, I managed to fall asleep on a bus that cruised along like it was made out of rubber with bricks for suspension. Every now and then the bus would jolt and I would head-butt the glass window with such explosive force that I was surprised the pane of glass stayed in tact. Anyway, point is that I hadn't slept for about 30 hours and it was because of this that I made the irrational decision to go out clubbing.


Myself and my traveling buddy Sean began our night in a bar called Gulliver's Travels (became my local for future visits) and casually started playing pool with a few of the locals. One of the first things I noticed was how friendly everybody is, I immediately felt welcome and comfortable in Thailand and it was a breath of fresh air after my 6 months in London. Everyone in London is actually a robot programmed to 'ignore' and 'work', if you pour water on a suit-wearing commuter they tend to fizzle. Just so you know, think twice before placing any kind of wager against a Thai lady on a pool table. Firstly, they will win and secondly they get more practice than you. After a few thousand beers and rums we ventured towards a club entitled Spicy. We went outside and hailed a Tuk-tuk driver who after offering us a ping-pong show took us to the club for free in return for his fuel tickets.



The Chao Phraya River with a view of Wat Arun
The next day I woke up at a record-breaking 16:30pm, grunted like a caveman and submitted to the fact that the day was already a write-off. I had a breakfast of spicy shrimp rice; considering my hangover this decision was just downright irresponsible. I felt really bad about the fact I had already wasted a day in this beautiful city so I crawled on hands and knees to do some sightseeing. I made it to Wat Pho, an 18th century Buddhist Temple that was supposedly the birthplace of Thai massage. This temple is dwarfed by the adjacent Grand Palace but still well worth seeing. There are countless Buddha images and the colored glass that lines the roofs of the temples reflect the rays of sunlight in evocative ways. Chedis (Stupas) rise majestically from inside the compounds walls and tangerine-clad monks mill like ants through the halls and monasteries. This temple complex is also the site of the Reclining Buddha, an enormous 160ft Buddha image having a lie down. After this nice little trip my hangover wavered and I hitched the river taxi back down to The Khao San Road.

Dog riding a bike
After the equivalent of my morning stroll (now 6:30pm) myself and Sean drank a few rums in the communal area of our hostel. We strolled down the Khao San Road stopping regularly for well-priced beer before goiung to one of the many Pad-Thai stands to get some snacks. Out of nowhere, two Aussie girls threw themselves on us. Normally I would be totally prepared for this but I was still quite sober and these girls were already very drunk.I later found out that both of these girls were heart surgeons which might explain why one of them persisted that I shouldn't smoke and that drinking is much healthier. At about 7am I went back out onto the Khao San Road and found a man laying on the floor, he was obviously having a bit of a nap after to much beer so I tried to pick him up. This guy had forgotten how to speak English and mumbled at me incoherently in a Scottish accent, either that or it was "I've had to much beer" in an obscure click language. From behind I heard a voice say "its ok, he wants to sleep there, let him be," I spun round to see two of the Scotsman's mates sat a table drinking booze. The guy on the floor had obviously been there some time and was soundly asleep, I almost felt a bit bad for waking him up. After this I found a street party full of Thai locals and now (very drunk) tourists were still dancing and swigging buckets. Buckets by the way are the preferred receptacles used to drink large quantities of alcohol and Red Bull around South East Asia. Still drunk I joined the fray and through by beer goggles began flirting with a "lady" that turned out to be transgender (this was not the first time this happened to me). In my defense its incredible how much these men look like attractive women (honestly!) I called it a morning and on the way home saw a dog riding a bike, at first I though it was a foul mix of rum and jet-lag that had caused some sort of crazy mirage, but no, it really was a dog riding a bike. This turned out to be a pretty insubstantial event in South East Asia, it seems that most animals have a motorbike license.       


 

1 comment:

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